My divorce situation is quite complicated:

My ex-husband and I are both from France and have previously lived in California. We recently divorced and are faced with the challenges of splitting up my ex-husband’s 401k.

We currently live in France, and were married and divorced in France, so our divorce decree is in French.

My ex-husband has started a roll-over process for the 401k towards an IRA and told me to wait until the roll-over is finished before attempting to take my share.

I have read that in most divorce cases, the spouse obtains his/her part of the 401k or IRA through a roll-over to another IRA. However in my case this is not possible since I cannot open an IRA account (because I am not living or employed in the US). Consequently I will be asking for a distribution of my share, despite the possible incurred costs of the 10% penalty and taxes.

However I have been reading up and have certain concerns about what to do next, here is what I’ve been able to dig up (however I have many contradicting sources so I am unsure of the next step to take):

If the money is in a 401k:
I must translate my divorce decree, and obtain a QDRO and ask for a distribution. Apparently in the case of a distribution with a QDRO, the 10% penalty is not applicable; is this true?

If the money is in an IRA I can either:
Have my ex-husband withdraw half of the money, incurring a 10% penalty and taxes associated.

Translate my divorce decree and obtain something similar like a QDRO, avoiding the 10% penalty? I can’t seem to find much information on the division of an IRA for a divorce.

My case is quite special because I have no other option than to ask for a distribution. I would like to know how to proceed if the funds have already been rolled over to an IRA and how I can obtain my share without incurring the 10% penatly.

Will I have to find a lawyer? If so, what type; a divorce lawyer? A QDRO lawyer? A retirement-plan lawyer? A tax advisor?